Kindness by Naomi Shihab Nye
Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you hold in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindess.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.
Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.
Before you know kindess as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindess that makes any sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and
purchase bread,
only kindess that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.
I hiked Tallulah Falls trails yesterday and while preparing my backpack, I was trying to think of all of the things I wanted to bring with me all the while not wanting to bring extraneous "stuff" for two reasons, one to avoid the weight of a heavy backpack and two to keep it simple so that I could enjoy nature and not distract myself with worldly things from my apartment so to speak. But I knew that I wanted to bring something inspirational to read while sitting at the top of some beautiful lookout point so I packed one of my favorite poetry anthologies, Ten Poems to Open Your Heart by Roger Housden.
I've handsold his books to many a customer that wanted to buy poetry for the "not so feeling the poetry thing" person in their life. His books take 10 poems and break them down with his personal interpretations and life experiences in order to show that each one of us can get something from poetry.
A friend of mine thanked me the other day for inspiring her in some way and I said thank you for acknowledging me and that I needed some inspiration about now in my life. So imagine my excitement when I picked up the trail map from the man at the front desk of the interpretive center at Tallulah Falls State Park and discovered there was an actual "Inspiration Point" on the trail. I asked him if it was a strenuous hike as I was looking for a challenging hike. He clearly stated it was moderate to difficult but more on the moderate side.
Funny enough, this trail is off the path of all of the other lookouts so it means one would have to go the opposite direction to get to it and then turn around and backtrack to get to the main trail. Since of course I was all about getting inspired, it was first on my list of things to do when I picked up the map. What kind of message is it when on my way down this trail supposedly leading to "Inspiration Point" I happened to see an off road trail and thought that was the way to go. Not reading the "Do not enter without a climbing or repelling permit" sign clearly posted at the head of this trail, I excitedly took off on it. About 100 feet into it I was slipping and sliding and holding on to trees, skinny frail ones at that, as I made my way down to the rocks. I was thinking "Wow, if this is moderate, what is difficult?" as I was grabbing on to rocks and anything I could to avoid falling into the gorge. I finally came back up alive. I never really questioned how I never saw a sign saying Inspiration Point but oh well, nice view of a waterfall for sure. I was somewhat inspired to have survived.
After hiking the trail leading directly to the gorge and other waterfalls, I made my way back around and decided to go straight past the off road trail I'd hiked earlier just to see what was at the other end, and lo and behold, I saw the sign that I should have seen in the beginning. No wonder I almost fell to my death. I shouldn't have stepped foot on that trail without equipment according the front desk clerk upon my return. Wow, I feel pretty strong that I made it.
So eventually walking past that trail I saw a sign for "Inspiration Point" and just thought to myself "Inspiration isn't easy to find for me right now." I was determined to get some inspiration so continued up the steep hill without looking back.
Once up there, I sat on a bench and pulled out my book and flipped randomly to a poem for inspiration and this poem above is what I turned to. It is a very powerful poem and although I've skimmed all of the 7 or 8 books of anthologies I have of his, I believe the right poem finds you at the right time and this one did. He speaks of our pain not making us special but how it joins us to the human race. I believe this to be true. I've often isolated myself when feeling down and now realize that feeling down is not my own unique experience nor does it make me special nor are my issues, my problems, my fears unique or special. We all have pain and suffering and through experiencing suffering we have two choices, we can develop compassion for other's pain and suffering or we can isolate ourselves and close our hearts. I choose compassion, for myself and others. I choose to see my experiences as a way to open up my heart and share my feelings with others which hopefully will allow them to open their hearts. This is true intimacy. We are not alone. We are here in our phyical bodies to share with others. We aren't meant to be on an island.
He mentions the most numbing pain comes from the protected heart, from not allowing others inside due to fear. I've been guilty of this in my life but am now aware and that is a start. I am now at a place where I choose to put myself out there, to allow others in and to take a chance that maybe it will be reciprocated. That is not a guarantee so in the meantime, I'll continue to honor my open heart and take risks because I'd rather experience one moment of true, even if fleeting intimacy, than a million moments of numbness.
May you find the courage to open your heart today with your eyes wide open and no guarantees in sight. May you find true intimacy with another soul and may it fill you up to the top with love and gratitude and trust that all is good in this moment.
Peace
