First day of school, grad school that is. Brand new back pack, brand new books, brand new perspective on life. I love beginnings. I love when I don't know what to expect but yet still have this feeling that whatever may come will be good, will be exciting, will be challenging yet energizing. One of the biggest challenges I've had to overcome in my life is setting unrealistic expectations only to be disappointed with reality once it sets in. I've worked hard at not having expectations because for awhile there I went from high expectations to low expectations which is not much better because it gave me a pessimistic view. No expectations or at least being open to "whatever happens" seems to be the best for me.
I had no expectations that riding Marta to GSU would be eventful at all and guess what? It was anything but uneventful. Buying my roundtrip Marta pass was easy enough. Stepping onto the train was easy enough. 30 minutes left before my meeting with my professor so all was good on time, until, the train stopped in the middle of the Inman Park and King Memorial station. Just stopped in the air on the track and didn't move for about 10 minutes until a conductor came barreling through our car saying "i'm gonna have to take yall back to Inman Park".
That is when the 20 something year old disturbed looking kid directly across from me began dialing on his cell phone. I'd noticed this guy from the time I sat down because he had his backpack at his feet and was reading a geography book but his eyebrows were furrowed and he looked a little off somehow. He just had this negative energy about him like he was irritated with the world or had a chip on his shoulder. I know I'm usually really perceptive when it comes to people's energy and soon found out that it was no different in this case. He proceeded to explain in a loud voice so everyone could hear that the train had broken down, "we're going to have to be cherry picked out of this thing with a firetruck" "we're 50 feet above ground mom, yes, I'm a little pissed off, everyone on here is pissed off and yelling" Wow, I looked around and everyone I saw was calm and minding their own business besides a young woman on her cell phone talking to HUD about her roach infested apartment and how she could break her lease without paying any penalties.
His anger and anxiety continued to escalate and everything his mother said to calm him down only pissed him off more. "Don't tell me it will all work out, that only pisses me off more mom" and "If they don't get this train moving fast, I'm going to have to kill someone, I'm stuck on here 50 feet above ground with a bunch of trained monkeys" All the while I'm looking around wondering if anyone else is worried about this timebomb going off. I chuckle to myself, "just my luck, headlines will read, 43 year old woman fulfills a dream by returning to school and is killed on the Marta train on the first day" reminded me of the Alanis Morrisette song "Isn't it Ironic?"
After 20 minutes the train begins to creep until we reach King Memorial and we are told to unload and catch the next train. We get off and I think to myself, God, please get that creep away from me and let me get to GSU on time or at least within 15 minutes of my appointment. Luckily I'd called Sasha from the train and asked her to get on my GSU account and email my prof about the situation so I felt some relief that she wouldn't think I was flaking out without contacting her, great first impression.
The next train came and we all rush to get on, it's full by the way so everyone is basically huddled standing in the middle holding on. The crazy guy is on my car but at least a few people away from me but still on his cell phone bitching to his mom. All of a sudden the guy in the picture with a book got annoyed, as I'm sure we all were, with this kid's whining to his mother and basically screaming into the phone so we all could hear. He screamed at the dude, "Shut the fuck up dude, we are all sick of hearing your whining to your mom, grow up and hang up the phone" and the dude got pissed and started screaming "you're going to jail" and the other guy said "why?" and the dude said "for assault" and everyone started laughing and chiding him right along with the man. One woman was screaming "This is too early for this shit, I haven't even had my coffee, shut up" and the more people were talking and raising their voices, the crazier it got as if all anyone needed was permission to get pissed at this dude. I was laughing but at the same time thinking this could turn into a riot and wondering if this is how riots begin, one person after another raising the bar on angry outbursts. We needed crowd control of some sort. I started looking for places I could duck and hide if someone pulled out a gun.
So that was my great start to my first day of grad school. Nothing else that day could compare to the excitement, fear, astonishment, unexpectedness of that Marta ride.
Walking into my prof's office having never met her before, I immediately apologized to her and to the other writing consultant that will be working with her in her other writing intensive class and briefly explained the Marta experience. I went on to say how you never know what to expect in life and I guess that was a prime example, I never thought the 30 minute Marta commute that morning would be all that it was and my prof said, "well, it really doesn't surprise me, anything can happen on Marta" good to know I thought, can't wait until tomorrow's commute.
May your day be filled with exciting experiences yet safe ones. At least safe in the sense of your physical well being but not safe from learning something new, being challenged to think outside of the box and gain a new perspective.
