Today is the first day

of the next 14 days....the say it takes 14 days to form a new habit so I'm claiming today as the first of 14 days of blogging to make myself habituated to writing again. I'm reading so many great books on spirituality of sorts and plan to post my experience with them within the next 14 days. For now I will say that one in particular changed the course of my life and that says a lot. I'll just give you a hint of the power of a book, a friend of mine and I decided to read a book together and discuss it via email and telephone as she lives out of state. The book we chose was Sacred Contracts by Caroline Myss. Well lets just say within one month of starting it, a little over half way through, she had ended her 5 year relationship and soon after I ended my 3 year relationship. The book brought about questions in my mind that I'd been avoiding. Within the first quarter of the book she says, here are the two most important questions you need to answer in life 1) Where are you going and 2) Who is going with you and if you get these out of order it can make all the difference in the world...Wow, this totally resonated with me as they were two questions I never even considered and agree, they are quite important. No wonder I've been led astray :)

So here I am a month after ending that relationship and on an emotional rollercoaster and just trying to find my footing. I get a little stronger each day and can see the light way, way, way down at the end of the tunnel. I see that one day, hopefully in the near future, I will begin to really ask myself the first question of where I am going and live with that question for quite awhile. I think it is just the right time in my life to begin the most important relationship of all, with myself. Maybe then I can have some compassion for those that have been in a relationship with me in the past lol...I know I'm not easy. Never claimed to be. Don't really want to be. I've been called intense, complex, contradictory, free spirited, non-committal, need to be committed (not really) and all sorts of things but I love those things about me and refuse to give them up. It is now time to be my own best friend so I say this to Carla loud and clear "Carla, come out and play with me, and bring your dollies three, climb up my apple tree, slide down my rainbow, into my cellar door and we'll be jolly friends, forever more, more, more!