Saturday, January 2, 2016

2016 New Year's Letter to Myself



It's been awhile since I've visited this space, shared in this space, and shared this space with others. I miss writing about what matters to me in a space intended for just that, a brave space. One of my intentions this year is to write more, write consistently, and write beyond my required and academic writing projects. To begin this intention, I'll share my 2016 New Year's Letter to Myself. As always, I would love to hear your responses and comments. I'm looking at this space as a place to grow, learn and listen compassionately, listen to myself as well as listen to my readers. 

Letter to Myself

Three things that worked for me were, 1) attending conferences in August and October with the Contemplative Mind in Society where I was surrounded by like-minded academicians passionate about social justice, specifically focusing on racism, and discovering and sharing ways to bring contemplative practices into higher education in the service of social justice work, 2) serving as a graduate assistant in a womanist spiritual activism class where I learned a lot about myself through contemplative practices, a lot about my students and my beloved community, and about many spiritual activists contributing to positive personal and social transformation on a local and global level and, 3) taking the time to locate and visit nature and hiking trails conveniently located and possessing the energy I am looking for in creating a contemplative practice inclusive of spending time in nature.

After contemplating on these and many other things that worked for me, I commit to continuing these practices and possibly adding a few more as time and energy allow.

Three things that didn’t work so well for me in 2015 would be, 1) the negative self-talk or hyper vigilance to my inability to overcome depression at times as well as lack of motivation, 2) my lack of self-care in regards to honoring my body and energy level and taking time to rest and do things that energize me and fill my tank before I’m on empty and, 3) my lack of consistently practicing compassionate listening.

On this day, January 1, 2016, I make a commitment to working on changing these things that didn’t work so well for me in 2015. I will pay attention to my self-talk, listen to my body and heed it’s needs and, listen with compassion to others in need of a space to be heard.

There were so many good things about 2015 so I’ll just limit it to a few. I travelled a lot and fed my spirit and senses. I welcomed my granddaughter Reverie Hope Rangel into the family, the world and specifically into Los Angeles, California. I met a few new friends that I hope to get to know deeper in the coming year. I began practicing mindfulness in more ways on more days. I became a vegetarian and not one of those that preaches or condemns meat eaters. I’ve visited my daughter twice in Houston and went on a road trip to Atlanta with her over the Christmas holiday. I presented at several women’s studies conferences, both local and nationally on subjects near and dear to my heart. I submitted something I wrote, didn’t get accepted but submitted nonetheless, which is a huge endeavor on an emotional level. There is so much more...

The hard parts of 2015 include my insecurity in my work and in my personal life in regards to relationships, friendship and otherwise. Depression, mild as it is, has and will probably always have some effect on me, and thus my perspective on life and love and loneliness. I found myself isolating quite a bit. I push people away, usually unconsciously, when I need solitude instead of asking or expressing my needs, as I fear being stigmatized. I guess I would have to say a sense of loneliness and not belonging would be the hardest parts of 2015.

My hopes for 2016 include working on these hard parts listed above, listening to my body, mind, and spirit as well as others in order to learn about myself as well as others. I also hope that I can celebrate the strides I attempt to make in these challenges as well as others that may arise. I wish to remember to have fun along the way, to not take everything so serious that I lose enchantment with all that is magic and miraculous in the world and in my life.

My focus for 2016 is on compassion, for self, others and all things. I also want to focus on listening with compassion, to self, others, and everything in the universe and beyond.

Thank you for reading and may peace be in you, surround you, and may this year be filled with positive transformations on all levels. 

~ Carla


No comments:

Post a Comment