The Fire Within

Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you
feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which
comes the inner voice which says, "This is the real me,"
and when you have found that attitude, follow it....~ William James ~

This quote speaks to me. I haven’t really thought about a particular mental attribute pertaining to feeling alive before but instead have had seconds or moments where I felt this awareness, this clarity about being in the right place, with the right person be it friend or lover, doing the right thing as far as action. I thought of it as being “in my zone” but unfortunately it comes and goes and everytime I get that moment’s feeling of “rightness”, I try to grasp it and hold on to it in order to feel more of it’s intensity, to feel it longer than just that moment and there it goes. No matter how hard I try to get it back, it is gone.

This is a reminder to myself that I shouldn’t grasp for truth, for awareness, for clarity, for “rightness”, it just is. By stilling my mind I can be aware of this inner voice and listen for when it tells me I’m in my zone or at least heading in the right direction.

It’s just frustrating because it feels so good when I’m in it that all I can do is try to hold onto it. I know that logically I must relinquish my desire to control my mind but it’s like a child. It strays. It doesn’t always cooperate. It is stubborn. It wants instant gratification. It doesn’t have fear. It only sees something it wants and it goes there. It doesn’t judge a situation as positive or negative, it only wants to feel good so doesn’t think about the consequences. I guess that is the problem. Life experiences have taught me that everything I do, think and say has a consequence. I developed a sense of caution along the way that was intended to protect me but has led to avoidance. Avoidance of things that might hurt me.

So if I do my homework and begin to think of what mental attribute makes me feel most deeply and vitally alive, I might be able to at least bring my thoughts back to this concept of an attribute therefore placing me in the space to be aware of the real me. Kind of like a mantra or affirmation. I often feel afraid or sad or skeptical and turn to an inspirational quote or an affirmation and it centers me. I may not automatically believe it but it brings me back to a place where I can begin again.

May you discover your mental attribute that ignites the fire inside of you today. May this fire blaze like a forest fire crackling and hissing and on a mission that stays with you all day long. May you hold onto that fire for longer than a minute and may it spread to every person you come into contact with today. We are fire, hear us roar!