i beg you... to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. and the point is, to live everything. live the questions now. perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer...
rainer maria rilke
i love this quote, it is one of my favorites. i love quotes for their inspiration and affirmations for the same reason. i find that i struggle at times with the unknown in a situation as if by knowing the outcome i could behave accordingly, as if by knowing the answers would ease my stress and worries...i should know better and do know better from a logical standpoint, but from an emotional standpoint, i'm a little behind.
logically, i know that i must experience struggles, challenges, and suffering in order to grow and learn as a spiritual being. emotionally, i just know i want to avoid pain, fear, disappointment, frustration and all the other not so joyful feelings. from experience, i do know after hitting rock bottom, not only will i survive but i'll eventually float back to the surface in one piece and with a wisdom i couldn't have found in a book, from a friend, or anywhere else except inside of myself.
today my intention is to breathe deeper, to appreciate the air that i breathe everyday without noticing.
today i am grateful for my autonomic nervous system which operates under the radar of my awareness. thank you...
the highlight of yesterday was the connection i made with a woman in line at the cafe in the store. she was visiting from out of town and considering moving here. she lost her public relations job and was interested in what positions my company might have such as mine at other bookstores. she needed a connection, as did i, amidst all of the emails and phone calls in my office. it was nice to have actually slowed down long enough to experience it.
About Me
- Carla Nikol
- I chose the name of my blog based on the word Buddha, which means "awakened one" or "the enlightened one". I don't claim to come from or be a buddhist, and I certainly don't claim to be "awakened" or "enlightened," yet I do feel I'm in a constant state of awakening and awareness and hope to live with an attitude that respects and practices compassion, mindfulness, and intention in my speech and in my actions. I come from a family of artists and feel lost without a connection to my creativity. I express myself best through talking and writing. I most want to feel connected to others and find that books give me that sense of connection. I work at a bookstore, go figure. I'm easily misunderstood because I live in my head a lot. Being an only child, I require my space and time alone to ponder why I am here on earth and how I can make things better. I am at a point in my life where I am consciously creating my "Authentic Self" as opposed to acting out the roles we adopt to meet other's needs. Today is the first day of the rest of my life!
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